Love Is A Battlefield.

Monday, September 14, 2009


Alright, so I began this blog to help me express how I am feeling especially lately since I have been put through some pretty heartbreaking situations. My boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me over the phone about 5 weeks ago. I moved to Arizona for him and was and still madly am in love with him. I had been with him since I was 17 and had gone through some pretty rough times with him, and the fact that I am no longer with him scares me everyday. I had nobody out here to go to because I put everything into him, which wasn't the best choice. I was hurt even more when I found out that less than a week later he was already speaking to another girl, a girl he dated back in high school. That crushed me because my insecurities of being alone were confirmed, I wasn't good enough for him and he had to go get someone else to fulfill what he wanted in someone he dated.
I have always been the person to date for long periods of time. I dated someone for five years, and found out he cheated on me and broke it off, and Mike was the first guy I seriously dated since then. I went through my senior year with Mike from prom to graduation to moving away from home for the first time, and now all those times are just in the past as he makes new memories with someone that isn't me. My heart is shattered and I still feel the pain everyday, even 6 weeks later. I will be honest though, our relationship wasn't always the best. We fought a lot because we are both stubborn and like to be right, but I began to ease up on that and Mike unfortunately never did. I changed so much about myself for him, and looking back I realize he wasn't even worth all that work I did. I was someone who wanted only love and happiness, and he to this day will tell me I was high maintenance and too much work for him. As much as it hurts me to hear that, I don't believe it because a relationship shouldn't be hard love should come naturally and everyday you should love that person more and more.
I have a friend who unfortunately is being put in the same situation right now, having to let go of the person she really loves. I know how she feels because I am going through the same situation and I told her that even though you don't see it now, in a few weeks you will have learned so much from such a crappy situation and only come out as a stronger person in the end.
So I want to list some advice I have really learned in the last 6 weeks.
Love should always come naturally it shouldn't be a "battlefield" as Jordin Sparks says.
No matter what you do, you should never want to say hateful things towards that person.
The love between two people should be so intense it is unexplainable.
Things should be left unsaid and just happen, you should not have to tell the person to express their feelings or desires, they should want to tell you.
You should want nothing more than to see that person succeed, and never ever let me a competition.
And finally Love should always be the most cherished word in the english language. Telling someone you love them should never be something you regret or hide. If you love someone, you'll know it and never try to ignore that feeling.

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